-in the name of Allah-

It appears that I will continue writing about Allah and my relationship with Him until the very end of my worldly life. Why is it that I should continue to do so? It is because I realize and understand that I don't belong here. This dunya, for all its glory and facade, just isn't what I am at all. The reality is that I belong with Allah. People clamor for company, they clamor for acceptance, but when it comes down to it, they ask others to make dua for them. What is this? Perhaps its only me, but does this not come off as hypocritical, when those who ask for dua are usually those people who themselves do not willingly move closer to Allah when presented with an opportunity? Yet at the most trying times in life they say 'whatever Allah wills'. Surely, it will be whatever He wills and yet the foolish do not realize they doom themselves by excluding Him from their lives. If people wish not for the best and change for themselves, then how can one say that Allah will not decree for him destruction in both worlds? This foolish, ignorant one has entirely no say in his own destiny, yet will throughout the whole time continue to say 'inshAllah', as if he had ever supplicated to Him and asked Him as He deserves to be asked. This, partly, is the state of the Muslims today. It hurts me. Yet, I am alone save Allah. Where do I turn that every single nafs on this planet should turn to? To Him. It is a sad case of human being that desires for the approval and acceptance of his peers, yet does not do better than that with his Creator. Verily, it is in the wallowing of the shallow that people most often find ways to pacify their egos, creating on top of a glass foundation yet another structure made of glass. What shatters easier than glass when faced with impending, opposing force? May the deprived contemplate on their state and reunite with Allah. Ameen.

That said, there is still much for me to write about. The follies of men and my own grow ever more apparent, and oddly enough this reinforces my closer stance with Allah. Who should desire the company of a mortal, of an erring, to the company of the Everlasting, the Perfect? It is not a comparison worthy of making, yet the state of humanity does naught else. It reminds me of a true-to-life situation with the companions of the Prophet (saw). They saw this dunya for what it was, and gave all of themselves to what truly is infinitely greater than this life. For the naysayers, tell me, where is the peace to be found amongst the turmoil-filled hearts of men? It cannot be. We face many trials, those mortal we love face many trials; all in all, the recourse is only with Allah. After this realizing, it pains the square much when it tries to go through the circle's opening- but shall it ever happen? One might say once the circle dies, there remains but for the square to meet its destiny, but with out doubt, the square must continue trying to fit through the circle. Painful it is indeed that the hearts of men be bounded, at times, by the hearts of fellow men (no homosexual implication is being made; it is understood by 'men' to include women as well). The nature of humanity makes every such attempted bonding between man and woman all the more difficult. It is true Allah has made for each believer, in his spouse, a raiment (ie garmet) to be comforted in. Oh Allah!, would that I come to know of this when You have decreed it for me. It should be noted, that I was about to say that I knew not of such comfort in any spouse, but the truth is that marriage hadn't yet taken place; thus, Allah's words still do apply, though I did not realize it. Such is the nature of writing, of emptying from within.

I shall, inshAllah, post soon a poetic about Allah.