بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

I've never had a case against my Rabb, no reason for complaint. Simply I found an abundance of blessings, stretching out across my existence, in ways subtle and obvious. There's no real way to convey this to anyone, but to describe the sense of security and encompassed protection/guidance. For the inner aspect, there is the preservation of fitrah, the firmly-established desire for khair and ideals, the eventual cognition of how to (try and) balance reality with what I have to be/give. For the outer aspect, there is preservation from extreme need, for having food/shelter/clothing/etc consistently taken care of, the presence of family I could love and respect and continually take immense lessons from throughout my life, the anchors of a handful of friends worthy in having something for me to emulate as well as reinforcing and counteracting my nature whenever it was necessary, of never having to be in a position of desperation, of having my biggest obstacles be those in my self instead of always outside of me. 

The reasons for gratitude, I can never run out of. Some moments come, passing by like darkened clouds, threatening a storm but never truly being a threat. In those times, it feels as if the fight is against everything, that I haven't enough in me to continue, that I lack the ones whom I love to give the emotional buffer that means so much...but that is just how it appears, never how it really is. The love from all my beloved reaches me, not least of all, His care and affection. I could not say if I can claim such a thing, but there is no other deduction left for me to draw with everything He's shown and given and permitted me to have. The most cynical part of me has sometimes wondered if perhaps the test did not run so deep, that He might show and give of His fadl and mercy so much, only to perhaps take it back some day. The truth is, all I have, all I've ever known, it's belonged always to Allah. If He should wish to rescind, it's always been His to do with as He pleased. But I will never cease (iA) to hope and ask that He keep on giving, and being to me as He always has, as all I have ever known of Him.