بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

One of the earliest precursors that helped define what I wanted to chase and why: my Hoor. Of every description of every reward that can be fathomed in akhirah, it was the Hoor that first struck a chord of longing and completion that seems so evasive in dunya. Here is a special creation of my Rabb's, made for me as much as I would exist to match it, as if every strand of our DNA was complementary of one another. Her eyes, perfectly contrasting, her bosom, my refuge, her skin, like coral and rubies in refinement, her shy nature, seeking to please in such a way that my wish for her to be as fulfilled only increases exponentially...all of these are just the parts I can grasp, for now. For every part of this life Muslims are not permitted, there is its equal and immensely-superior complement from Allah, reserved with Him when this test is something we are finished with. For every difficulty here, there is its pair in ease and rest and pleasure (all infinitely-magnified) in akhirah. 

In that Pinnacle I often reference, my Hoor are without measure, a uniqueness without compare to other creation. Perhaps the only singular question is: will I be able to meet them? The answer to this is the same as it ever was: if Allah so wills. These days I am often lost from my ocean, subsisting on some surface-level of awareness and emotion. I hate it, but if I cannot tolerate it and push towards boundaries, then my battle is lost, and, Allah-forbid, the war against the self/shayateen may be lost as well. In finding reasons to hold steady, of all His gifts, those Hoor are important as any.