بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

for the named

Remember Fitz? What a character, what a series. Among the various notions that sit with me long after I've read an epic, some find eternal resonance. With Fitz, it was that of being Sacrifice, by choice and by necessity, something that he intrinsically accepted, even before being aware of having done so. There are numerous parallels between the character and I, but one I think most significant: a desire for selflessness, especially where the heart is concerned.

if again we must part ways, for you to be safe, for me to be sane, I'll gladly pay any price, that my Rabb might have me make. I want your akhirah secure, beyond doubts or shadows or lures, that place, that Pinnacle of Peaks that I chase awake in my dreams, by His mercy I'll have you know what it all means, so you might smile and laugh and be utterly effervescent, carefree in the midst of magnificence. 

this ideal, what we long to embrace, belongs not to this life, it's sheltered only by Allah, under His throne and its shade. if we try to hold it in our hands, it'll burn us to a crisp, making us think we've touched a glimmer of happiness, before the devils taint it beyond imagining, into a thing pulling to darkness instead of bliss. light only guides if its His and calling to Right, every other thing we might perceive, is beauty disguised just 'till skin-deep, whilst underneath is its true deceit.

I don't know if you'll hate me for this, or curse my name for as long as you knew I lived, I don't know if I've just poured mountains of coal inside your soul, while trying to cover the bitter taste of what this reality holds, but if being cast the villain saves you from torment and me from losing my beloved to a future of regret, well, I've never regretted making hard choices before, so long as my Rabb had my back and carried me forward. 

Forgive me, to me you're always forgiven, look ahead, to a time free of this prison, the bird is only caged...until the time comes it isn't.