بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

and then there came a day, where every signal i sent, just seemed to fade, as if i were truly stuck under water, or somewhere far in outer space, just far enough, so my beacons refused to shine, and all their mortal threads, just seemed to dissipate. 

if this were like any other such moment, i'd have felt the stabs so deep, but it wasn't, not at all, for my Rabb, He carries me through it, for all the time He gave for me to breathe. it is true, even if every mortal tie unwinds, even if the Moon hides herself behind clouds that obscure all sense, even if the Sun shows an unimagined side, my life does not cease, i crumble not into sand, He has held me always, through thick and thin, while my self i sought to leave, and drown living inside a cage of self-imposed isolating...but my walls, they broke, let down after what He'd have me find, so His path i took, and as it ever was, made it my own. 

Allah is my Judge, my Aid, the Friend of His slave, the One Who made the eyes, and what shines, both guidance and my dream, like fiery stars of unending light. if silence is what He wills, if that is how He'd have the road forward shape, then everything was already His from the start, and for me just to find, near Him my place. no regrets, no sadnesses, this world could never be my aim, just a grazing pasture, or desert as some moments framed, soon i am to leave, perhaps with His permission, khair for ones beloved i gave.