بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

oh my Rabb,

take from me my sadness, my grief, my unfound hope, my unmet need, 

shelter me in Your care, where safe I am, from disappointment, from that which cuts and then bleeds,

oh my Rabb,

so much I must restrain, so much held back, my love and my lust, my heart and my nafs, a pair aligned in one, who once tore them apart, 

at times I have no words, no way to give expression, of pain so deep, it's as if all troubles past, now unwrapped themselves in a single Present, 

oh my Rabb,

what have I learned, what is there still ahead, that You would have me smoulder into ash again and again, and revive me endlessly from the dead?

might not a single cut, clean and straight, be enough to sever me from this overlong fate?

oh my Rabb,

for this fool who seeks, a place a gift a hope, wherein hide all he's ever dreamed, may we shorten the lesson, sharpen the blade, so I need not a million cuts, to be taught the way?

how long I remain, I cannot tell, steady the moment now, but still I might reckon, waiting for me a thousand hells, 

until at last comes Your reprieve, in which Your mercy dwells, so then I can exhale, embraced by Happiness myself.