Countered Point

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

i've heard it said that emotion is weakness, can confirm this as truth, in the times one crumbled to pieces, melted or molting, sightless or squinting, the glare of growth is indescribable in those kinds of moments. never thought i'd ever want to be museless, compose without some light pointing out of a sky perpetually cloudy but useless, it shed no rain and so the desert keeps on expanding in all directions. i am a living contradiction, blessed and tested, both together, beyond limits or measure, death nearly impending but life doesn't quite let go of the tether, so He makes me draw breath for some reason or other, can't fathom its wisdom or know where is better. truly, brought to sickness recalling a future unlived, as the present taunts me with what's missing, pieces of puzzles ancient and futuristic, a slave so cared for - but so utterly adrift. there's no pathway for pity, too much He's given for regret to emerge as possibility, but my ignorance in this time dwarfs every struggle i once perceived. i can reconcile none of these positions, so vast the unknowns and the intermittent, my knowledge of where to step as firm as the dry sand of an ocean dried and dusted down to its atoms, there's no end to this tunnel...unless He opens for me the doors to His mercy Himself