The Untenable Withoutness

أَعُوذُ بِٱللَّهِ مِنَ ٱلشَّيۡطَٰنِ ٱلرَّجِيمِ، بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Maybe the perspective I'd wish most to have reach my beloved is that of knowing the nature of the one, singular connection that makes every other connection worthwhile. Undeniably, this relates to Allah and only to Him.

While being mortal and attempting to ascertain the Sublime, it's important to first remember and have cognizance of the uniqueness that's being aimed for. This isn't like any other bond, no human relationship compares, no human love/emotion comes remotely close - either in magnitude or meaningful essence. The expectations and experiences we develop in our lifetimes from dealing with people, all of those should be put to one side, a separate category. When considering Allah, He deserves His own specific framework of understanding, not like anything or anyone else we know or come across. 

With that said, how can we come to know Him, to understand to whatever capacity our selves are capable? I think there are two points to answer this: the first being that we did not create ourselves but were in fact created, and the second being that of realizing blessings and gifts in all their manifestations that have been sprinkled throughout our lifetimes. The essential point of realizing one is created, is that of being able to perceive submission to one's Creator, of reaching the understanding that slavehood is where the matter begins and ends, filled in the meantime with our own mixture of deeds in the middle. 

I've found that any time in my life where my connection to Allah suffered, it was the worst agony possible (the second worst agony being apartness from my human beloved, but that is mortal and one supposes it too shall pass, iA). With one's Rabb at the center of not only specific endeavors but overall and overarching life/afterlife goals, then every endeavor becomes more meaningful, has a value and substance that carries real, impactful weight. Without Allah as the central/primary anchor towards Eternity, we become enslaved and confined and relegated to a mere earthly existence, with meaning and relativity that is equally worthless in the grander scheme of things. The higher purpose and calling is not something arbitrarily chosen by us humans, but instead it is the reason behind our creation, the direction and drive He gifted us of always wanting/seeking to return back to Him.

This elevated drive does not necessarily exclude our instinctual and emotional aspects, but incorporates them within its inherent wisdom. There is reasoning behind our Creator making the nafs/lower self part of the framework of the human being, while mentioning a bit of His Garden that appeals to that nafs. The intent of Him making His rewards as He has, of all their various forms and expressions, is so that we pursue them, use them as motivation in refraining from sin and having something utterly beautiful to look forward to. Indeed, every fleeting joy that we experience here finds its heavenly match incomparably more extravagant and sublime, as such manifested ideals should be.

Getting back to the main point here, we can never go long without remembering where we came from, where we innately want to get back to. This reminder does not have just an inward aspect, but an outward one as well, which brings me to perhaps the most important subset of this perspective: how to tie together the surface and inner depth of the human being, so they both reach for and reflect the same purpose. Our Rabb instituted certain forms of ritual worship, primarily in the five salaat, that serve as the physical pathway for us to reconnect with Him on the daily. The first consideration with this is that prayer has its time, and such timing and regularity must have primacy in the mind above all other obligations. Note! : This does NOT mean that the heart must have pure submission/imaan before physical worship is manifested. No one ever begins at the outset with having all the requirements and experience and wisdom to fulfill the endeavor that is to come, all of these things come only and ONLY with time. A doctor newly graduated does necessarily know everything he/she needs to know at their first encounter with a patient. We absolutely have to remember the point that responsibilities being implemented FIRST, is how the essential underlying wisdom/purpose is found later on. This may seem as hypocrisy at first glance, to do something outwardly while its inward is different, but in reality, for the one who seeks the worship for personal reasons and not for the sake of being seen, this is generally how the journey of reconnection to Allah begins. 

Regardless of what we may have seen from others in our past experiences, or gotten the implication from in those situations, the irrefutable truth is that we are and were created as human. The process of unifying the inward and outward states is never quickly achieved, and rarely is it very easy. It takes time and persistence, and having an internal/underneath motive of either seeking the truth or one's beloved - both can serve admirably as precursors to spiritual actualization. 

I've never found anything that was worthwhile without my Rabb playing some critical part in it, either as a Means or the penultimate Aim. All other parts of our lives become vastly brighter and more meaningful, from the moment He becomes a vital part of our own selves.